Please be aware-
When tears of frustration come to my eyes, I'm not trying to be a 2 year old throwing a tantrum.
I just feel like my mind is broken and I don't know how to continue.
Please be aware-
I'm not actually trying to procrastinate on my work.
I'm just overwhelmed by how much I have to do, and in an attempt to get it all done, I achieve very little.
Please be aware-
If I am doing something like surfing the internet for too long, or binge watching Netflix,
It means I'm trying to take care of myself but I don't know the best way.
Please be aware-
Your assumption that suicide is the most selfish thing someone could do is wrong.
To a suicidal person, it's as selfish as taking a medicine to cure a disease.
In their mind, it's a treatment option.
Please be aware-
Sometimes the people who laugh the most are also the ones who are most unstable
They might be trying to cling to any joy they can.
Please be aware-
Lecturing someone with an anxiety disorder will probably get you nowhere.
They know what is wrong with what they are doing, and they've already beat themselves up over it.
Please be aware-
Telling me to "Get a grip" after an anxiety attack is the worst thing you could do.
To me, it feels like there is nothing left to grip onto.
Please be aware-
Many people with anxiety disorders are reluctant to talk about their disorder.
If they suddenly say something about how bad it is, or that they want help, they are probably hurting a lot more than you think.
Monday, January 26, 2015
Monday, June 24, 2013
Love thy neighbor, as thyself.
The second great commandment is "Love thy neighbor as thyself."
as thyself.
can we just focus on that?
Two ways to think of this:
1. You cannot love others fully until you love yourself.
Have you ever just stopped and thought about that?
Can you really love someone with out loving yourself? May come as a shock to some of you, but, no. You can't. You can still have some appreciation and love and brotherhood with a person, but you can't really give up yourself for them. When you don't love yourself, every single relationship has at least some of you wondering, "what can they do for me? will they confirm my feelings? will they love me?" I don't think that's how real and true love works. It should be, "how can I make them feel better? what can I do to serve this person? what can I do to show them that I love them?" OK, if there are any guys reading this, this may come across as silly or stupid or whatever, (I have a sneaking suspicion that you guys do it to..) but I don't really care. Us girls a lot of times will randomly daydream of our future boyfriends or husbands. Like, about guys we've never even met. And not just "oh, he will be dark, tall, mysterious, and handsome" and stuff like that, but sometimes even scenarios, like "what would I say if this happened to my husband?" and stuff like that. now save that thought.
A lot of girls I know who don't fully love themselves are the ones who are craving a boyfriend. I think that inside they want someone to make them feel beautiful. I want that as much as the next girl, but when I imagine my future husband/boyfriend, a majority of the time, I'm helping them out. Comforting them,* healing them, loving them. I hope I'm not being to preachy. Yeah, sometimes I imagine them doing that for me, or just my friends in general telling me I'm loved, and stuff like that. But I find I only think about those things on the days I love myself less.
When you don't love yourself, all you can think about is you. Funny thing, when we love other people, they are all we can think about. But when we don't love ourselves, we are all we can think about.
"Love me and I will always be in your heart.
Hate me and I will always be on your mind."
Why don't we love ourselves? I don't have a perfect answer, but I think it has to do with the fact that we are the only people who think about how awful we are. When someone else has a short coming, it's easier to forgive them. We like to think good things about other people, especially friends.
But we don't forgive ourselves as much as our friends, do we? It's easy to not be nice to yourself. You worry about hurting other people's feelings, and you worry about other people hurting yours, but you never seem to worry about hurting yourself. Please don't hurt yourself. When you hurt yourself, you hurt the people who love you, whether they or you know it. You close off. They can't reach you. They see your pain and become saddened. Don't do that. As a great man, Deiter F. Uchdorf said,
Stop it.
Stop hurting yourself. Is it worth it?
No.
the second way:
II. Love thy neighbor as thyself.
Yeah okay same wording. How does that even work?
this one is also kind of hard to explain. Love thy neighbor, being yourself. Don't pretend to be someone different. don't cover up who you are so that you can be "accepted". Just love them as they are and as you are. Don't try to win them over with things you can't do. Give your whole self, but don't try to reach beyond your capability. You shouldn't have to pretend to be able to do something just to have them in your life. As said time after time,
Just be yourself. Because that's not good enough, it's better than that. It's you.
*Okay, just to make it clear, I do not want to marry one of those guys who can't take care of themselves, are always upset if everything isn't "just so", and so forth. I just imagine helping them in time of need. Just thought I would clarify that.. any who. continue.
PS I know I had a lot more thoughts about this, so there may be a part II of this idea!
as thyself.
can we just focus on that?
Two ways to think of this:
1. You cannot love others fully until you love yourself.
Have you ever just stopped and thought about that?
Can you really love someone with out loving yourself? May come as a shock to some of you, but, no. You can't. You can still have some appreciation and love and brotherhood with a person, but you can't really give up yourself for them. When you don't love yourself, every single relationship has at least some of you wondering, "what can they do for me? will they confirm my feelings? will they love me?" I don't think that's how real and true love works. It should be, "how can I make them feel better? what can I do to serve this person? what can I do to show them that I love them?" OK, if there are any guys reading this, this may come across as silly or stupid or whatever, (I have a sneaking suspicion that you guys do it to..) but I don't really care. Us girls a lot of times will randomly daydream of our future boyfriends or husbands. Like, about guys we've never even met. And not just "oh, he will be dark, tall, mysterious, and handsome" and stuff like that, but sometimes even scenarios, like "what would I say if this happened to my husband?" and stuff like that. now save that thought.
A lot of girls I know who don't fully love themselves are the ones who are craving a boyfriend. I think that inside they want someone to make them feel beautiful. I want that as much as the next girl, but when I imagine my future husband/boyfriend, a majority of the time, I'm helping them out. Comforting them,* healing them, loving them. I hope I'm not being to preachy. Yeah, sometimes I imagine them doing that for me, or just my friends in general telling me I'm loved, and stuff like that. But I find I only think about those things on the days I love myself less.
When you don't love yourself, all you can think about is you. Funny thing, when we love other people, they are all we can think about. But when we don't love ourselves, we are all we can think about.
"Love me and I will always be in your heart.
Hate me and I will always be on your mind."
Why don't we love ourselves? I don't have a perfect answer, but I think it has to do with the fact that we are the only people who think about how awful we are. When someone else has a short coming, it's easier to forgive them. We like to think good things about other people, especially friends.
But we don't forgive ourselves as much as our friends, do we? It's easy to not be nice to yourself. You worry about hurting other people's feelings, and you worry about other people hurting yours, but you never seem to worry about hurting yourself. Please don't hurt yourself. When you hurt yourself, you hurt the people who love you, whether they or you know it. You close off. They can't reach you. They see your pain and become saddened. Don't do that. As a great man, Deiter F. Uchdorf said,
Stop it.
Stop hurting yourself. Is it worth it?
No.
the second way:
II. Love thy neighbor as thyself.
Yeah okay same wording. How does that even work?
this one is also kind of hard to explain. Love thy neighbor, being yourself. Don't pretend to be someone different. don't cover up who you are so that you can be "accepted". Just love them as they are and as you are. Don't try to win them over with things you can't do. Give your whole self, but don't try to reach beyond your capability. You shouldn't have to pretend to be able to do something just to have them in your life. As said time after time,
Just be yourself. Because that's not good enough, it's better than that. It's you.
*Okay, just to make it clear, I do not want to marry one of those guys who can't take care of themselves, are always upset if everything isn't "just so", and so forth. I just imagine helping them in time of need. Just thought I would clarify that.. any who. continue.
PS I know I had a lot more thoughts about this, so there may be a part II of this idea!
Friday, May 10, 2013
Friends and fiends.
International Karate Kun:
Seek perfection of character
Be faithful
Endeavor
Respect others
Refrain from violent behavior.
Friends can easily become fiends. The main difference is that you take out the R. Respect. You take the respect out of a friendship and it turns really nasty really fast. Do you have respect?
I by no means am a goddess of harmony and respect. That is not exactly my strength. but it makes a big difference.
For instance, if you lose respect for your friend's standards, you don't look at them the same. If the standards seem too high, you may think they are "holier than thou". But, if you see them too low, you think that they are mangy, unwieldy and perhaps even foolish. Then you become the one that is "holier than thou". They may think that you are a prude, that you are jealous, or any manner of things that may not be true!
It is here that I must point out the difference between respecting someone and supporting them. I feel like these words are too often interchanged when they are sole entities. Respect is understanding someones decisions. It is linked to Love. Supporting is when someone is doing something and you are happy for them and encouraging them.
This is why I can be friends and still love people who are of different religions, sexualities, and political views than me. For instance, I have a homosexual relative. We still love him, we certainly still like to see him, he and his partner are both very nice. I respect that that is their decision. This is what they chose, and I'm not going to try to change that. However, I'm not in full support of them. I believe in marriage between man and wife. I don't agree with what they do, but I'm not going to shun them or hate them for it. I figure that if a relationship of any kind is with someone who has different views or standards, as long as you are able to love them without compromising your values, than you can have a working bond with that person. I must advise you, though, that if you are in a friendship and that person is tearing you down, and you want to build them up but it's backfiring, try to distance yourself. It's not worth your sanity to try and help someone who doesn't want it. Trust me, I know.
So keep your friends friends and not fiends. I hope this at least makes some sense or something. I don't know how to end blog posts ever.
Signing out,
The Secret Keeper.
Seek perfection of character
Be faithful
Endeavor
Respect others
Refrain from violent behavior.
Friends can easily become fiends. The main difference is that you take out the R. Respect. You take the respect out of a friendship and it turns really nasty really fast. Do you have respect?
I by no means am a goddess of harmony and respect. That is not exactly my strength. but it makes a big difference.
For instance, if you lose respect for your friend's standards, you don't look at them the same. If the standards seem too high, you may think they are "holier than thou". But, if you see them too low, you think that they are mangy, unwieldy and perhaps even foolish. Then you become the one that is "holier than thou". They may think that you are a prude, that you are jealous, or any manner of things that may not be true!
It is here that I must point out the difference between respecting someone and supporting them. I feel like these words are too often interchanged when they are sole entities. Respect is understanding someones decisions. It is linked to Love. Supporting is when someone is doing something and you are happy for them and encouraging them.
This is why I can be friends and still love people who are of different religions, sexualities, and political views than me. For instance, I have a homosexual relative. We still love him, we certainly still like to see him, he and his partner are both very nice. I respect that that is their decision. This is what they chose, and I'm not going to try to change that. However, I'm not in full support of them. I believe in marriage between man and wife. I don't agree with what they do, but I'm not going to shun them or hate them for it. I figure that if a relationship of any kind is with someone who has different views or standards, as long as you are able to love them without compromising your values, than you can have a working bond with that person. I must advise you, though, that if you are in a friendship and that person is tearing you down, and you want to build them up but it's backfiring, try to distance yourself. It's not worth your sanity to try and help someone who doesn't want it. Trust me, I know.
So keep your friends friends and not fiends. I hope this at least makes some sense or something. I don't know how to end blog posts ever.
Signing out,
The Secret Keeper.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
The Neverland Threory.
I have a theory. Okay, fine. I have a lot of theories. But this particular one is called the neverland theory.
I do not always give boys or men the credit they deserve. But I'm giving boys full credit here.
Do you remember when Peter became a Lost Boy? He had heard his parents talking about a boring future for him. This is not what he wanted; he wanted to do whatever he chooses and wanted to become whatever he please. So he went away to Neverland. In the book of Peter Pan, every child has a Neverland in their own mind. This is true. Peter's Neverland was just a lot more physical. Anyway, the point is, he held onto his dreams and it took him to the happiest place he could be.
Now, I know some might argue if he was truly happy, but that is not the point.
You see, I think boys who become Lost Boys go to Neverland, that safehaven of dreams and happiness, while girls originate in Neverland. Lost Girls go to the real world.
Every girl starts out wanting to be a princess (just like every boy starts out wanting to be a knight or a pirate) and every girl believes that they are beautiful and enchanting and that they have secret magic locked inside them. But then the world tells them untrue things. They do have magic inside them, they do have, infact, enchanting personalities (provided that the lies do not stunt their growth) and they are, in reality, beautiful. But once a girl stops believing these things, even for a moment, they are transported to the real world. The real world wears people down; it makes them old, boring, unimaginative, and sad. Why would anyone give up the hopes and dreams of a child? You see, I think boys have the right ideas here: Don't become another fussbudget (I promise that isn't a swear word) and persue your dreams. They understand that it's good to be who you want to be. Why don't girls understand that? infact, what boggles me most is how 95% of all teens want to "express themselves" and "be who they really are" but then they turn around and whine about how they will "never fit in!" What is all this noise? I don't understand that!
Anywho, why should girls grow up so much? that is not logical. Do you think that the future will be better if you can't like where you are now? I mean, really, why would you want to grow up? I understand the being able to do things independantly and find true love and all that jazz, but not the becoming annoyingly boring and well, a fussbudget. (oh how I love that word.)
Why, girls, do we believe that we are not beautiful? Why do we think no one can accept us? Why is this? I'm going to illustrate my point with a song. (If you are reading this now, you probably know this song pretty well.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bR2RhHLak60&feature=share&list=FLpV38a6KlMOd6IzyeYKJnFw
I. rest. my. case. No, no I don't. I'm going to open my case and pull more evidence and testimonies out.
Maybe this is the reason why guys mature slower than girls. Maybe.
I pity the boy who never goes to neverland; and I pity the girl who never goes back. Girls, if you never start believing you are a princess or beautiful or worth anything ever again, you will never go back to neverland. How can you create beauty or happiness if you don't believe there is any in you? And, even worse, how can you expect others to see you are beautiful if you don't in the least?
It's like Jordan Taylor ( A comedian and 'philosipher' I highly respect) says to us girls: [it's hard to respect someone if they don't respect themselves.] (ok I don't know what he really said but we basically said the same thing)
I think that every girl escapes Neverland at somepoint. But it is possible to return there. How? I think that you already know how.
Being back in Neverland gives you imagination, creativity, happiness, and charity (which, we all know, is the Pure Love of Christ)
I would know, I've recently returned myself. Whenever I leave, I feel sad, and awful, and like lightning is slowly creeping it's way into my soul (don't ask how that works). I hope you all can come back, and we will all help eachother stay together.
I have to give credit to my friend, E, for giving me bits of inspiration. Talk to E. She's really awesome.
So, sorry guys, if this was not as epic as you had hoped. It's a little more girly. But if you can, please share with your sisters, gal friends, girlfriend, wife, mom, or whatever girls you know. Remember, guys, to be a prince. You are all secret princes, just like all of us girls are secret princesses. Make sure you understand that you are a prince and everyone depends on you. Never think less of yourself.
"there are no frogs in life; just handsome princes who don't know who they are."
So remember to visit neverland often, and try not to leave.
Adieu.
I do not always give boys or men the credit they deserve. But I'm giving boys full credit here.
Do you remember when Peter became a Lost Boy? He had heard his parents talking about a boring future for him. This is not what he wanted; he wanted to do whatever he chooses and wanted to become whatever he please. So he went away to Neverland. In the book of Peter Pan, every child has a Neverland in their own mind. This is true. Peter's Neverland was just a lot more physical. Anyway, the point is, he held onto his dreams and it took him to the happiest place he could be.
Now, I know some might argue if he was truly happy, but that is not the point.
You see, I think boys who become Lost Boys go to Neverland, that safehaven of dreams and happiness, while girls originate in Neverland. Lost Girls go to the real world.
Every girl starts out wanting to be a princess (just like every boy starts out wanting to be a knight or a pirate) and every girl believes that they are beautiful and enchanting and that they have secret magic locked inside them. But then the world tells them untrue things. They do have magic inside them, they do have, infact, enchanting personalities (provided that the lies do not stunt their growth) and they are, in reality, beautiful. But once a girl stops believing these things, even for a moment, they are transported to the real world. The real world wears people down; it makes them old, boring, unimaginative, and sad. Why would anyone give up the hopes and dreams of a child? You see, I think boys have the right ideas here: Don't become another fussbudget (I promise that isn't a swear word) and persue your dreams. They understand that it's good to be who you want to be. Why don't girls understand that? infact, what boggles me most is how 95% of all teens want to "express themselves" and "be who they really are" but then they turn around and whine about how they will "never fit in!" What is all this noise? I don't understand that!
Anywho, why should girls grow up so much? that is not logical. Do you think that the future will be better if you can't like where you are now? I mean, really, why would you want to grow up? I understand the being able to do things independantly and find true love and all that jazz, but not the becoming annoyingly boring and well, a fussbudget. (oh how I love that word.)
Why, girls, do we believe that we are not beautiful? Why do we think no one can accept us? Why is this? I'm going to illustrate my point with a song. (If you are reading this now, you probably know this song pretty well.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bR2RhHLak60&feature=share&list=FLpV38a6KlMOd6IzyeYKJnFw
I. rest. my. case. No, no I don't. I'm going to open my case and pull more evidence and testimonies out.
Maybe this is the reason why guys mature slower than girls. Maybe.
I pity the boy who never goes to neverland; and I pity the girl who never goes back. Girls, if you never start believing you are a princess or beautiful or worth anything ever again, you will never go back to neverland. How can you create beauty or happiness if you don't believe there is any in you? And, even worse, how can you expect others to see you are beautiful if you don't in the least?
It's like Jordan Taylor ( A comedian and 'philosipher' I highly respect) says to us girls: [it's hard to respect someone if they don't respect themselves.] (ok I don't know what he really said but we basically said the same thing)
I think that every girl escapes Neverland at somepoint. But it is possible to return there. How? I think that you already know how.
Being back in Neverland gives you imagination, creativity, happiness, and charity (which, we all know, is the Pure Love of Christ)
I would know, I've recently returned myself. Whenever I leave, I feel sad, and awful, and like lightning is slowly creeping it's way into my soul (don't ask how that works). I hope you all can come back, and we will all help eachother stay together.
I have to give credit to my friend, E, for giving me bits of inspiration. Talk to E. She's really awesome.
So, sorry guys, if this was not as epic as you had hoped. It's a little more girly. But if you can, please share with your sisters, gal friends, girlfriend, wife, mom, or whatever girls you know. Remember, guys, to be a prince. You are all secret princes, just like all of us girls are secret princesses. Make sure you understand that you are a prince and everyone depends on you. Never think less of yourself.
"there are no frogs in life; just handsome princes who don't know who they are."
So remember to visit neverland often, and try not to leave.
Adieu.
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